映画「長いお別れ」から考える、認知症の方と家族
目次
映画のご紹介
父（山﨑努）は70歳を迎える誕生日。離れて住む娘2人も帰省し、（竹内結子、蒼井優）が母（松原智恵子）から告げられたのは、父が認知症なったと言う事実であった。厳格だった父は少しずつ記憶を亡くしていきながらも、家族は精一派それぞれの立場から父をサポートします。
父のこと、自身のことに悩みながら時に笑って、そして泣く夜を過ごすと共に、父の愛情に気づかされていきます。
父とのお別れまでの7年間。それは想像もしなかった日々、そして家族それぞれの存在の大切さを知るものだったのでした。
”父”の認知症のタイプについて見ていきます
父は「アルツハイマー型認知症」であることを劇中で母が娘たちに話しています。
アルツハイマー型認知症は今まで生活できてきたことが少しずつできなくなり、物忘れから認知症に気づくことが多いと言われています。
父が娘の生れを忘れたり、「お風呂には入った！」と離される場面がありました。 さらに新しいことが記憶できなかったり、思い出すことができない、場所・時間がわからなくなることがこの認知症の特徴とも言えます。
7年の月日の中で、少しずつ症状が進行していく様子を山崎勉さんは非常に上手く演じられています。徘徊されることが多くなったり、自宅にいるにも関わらず「家に帰る」と言われるなどの様子がみられていました。
認知症は短期の記憶や直前のこと、例えば「直前のご飯は食べたかどうか」「娘が結婚していたか」と言うことは記憶として思い出せないことが往々にしてでてきます。それでも認知症をお持ちの方は、（何となく感じる）大切な人と、共有した「楽しかった」「幸せであった」と言う感情は残りやすいと言われています。
認知症状が進む中、父が母に対し「親に会ってほしい」と話していたシーンです。これは父が母に対し何らかの感情を思い出されたのではないでしょうか。または、プロポーズをした当時「幸せだった」と言う印象が残っていたのかもしれませんね。
配偶者を介護する”母”
それでは主な介護者となる母の立場から考えてみます。厳格な父が段々と老化と認知症により変わって行き、日々あらゆることに対し、間違いが多くなります。それでも、母は真っ向から否定せず、あるがままを伝えるように努めていました。特にこの父のキャラクターからしても、否定されることや馬鹿にされるような態度を母が取った場合、プライドが傷つくであろうことを十分考えていたのではないかと推測します。
また、父が認知症になるまでの二人の歴史がありますが、父と母の関係性からくるものを見ると母は「私が夫を支えなくては」と言う思いがひしひしと伝わります。子の存在に関わらず、配偶者が認知症となった場合、介護者が頑張ろうと精いっぱい力を尽くしてしまう傾向にあります。
作中でも母がとある理由で一時的に入院を要すことになりますが最初は夫の介護ができなくなるからと入院を拒否していたシーンがありました。介護者だって人間です。調子を崩すこともあれば病気にもなりますし、もっと言えば万が一のことはあり得ます。
事前に「もし介護者の身に何かあった場合は」と日ごろから考え用意をしておくことは大切ですね。
それぞれの立場にある娘たちと父の介護
次は娘2人の立場から考えてみます父と母には30代～40代の2人娘がいました。
長女は結婚し、夫・息子と一緒に海外で暮らしています。夫の仕事の都合で海外にいるようでした。次女は惣菜店で働いており、いろいろ夢はあるものの未婚。恋愛が上手くいかずに将来に対し漠然とした不安を抱えている設定です。
長女のように、晩婚化が進んだ現在は子育てと介護が同時に来る方も珍しくはありませんね。また現代では、一口に「家族」と言っても週末婚や平日婚などの家族の過ごし方、DINKsなど子をあえて持たない家族もあります。子が「親の介護に対応できるように」と即日その生活へとシフトすることは困難な場合がほとんどです。
また昔のように「遠くの親戚より近くの他人」と言う言葉通り、近隣の方を頼るのは現実的には厳しいものです。特に地方でも、都市部は「隣はなにをする人ぞ」状態だと言えるでしょう。
話は映画に戻ります。父の認知症がわかる前は、次女も実家からそう遠くないところに住んでいるようでした。それでも1年に1度実家に帰るかどうかと言った帰省の程度だと本人が劇中で話しています。これが遠方に住んでいればなおのこと。「帰れない・帰らない」可能性がでてきますね。認知症の老老介護はこのような背景からくることが多いと考えられます。
母が急な入院を要した場面でも、「なんとかする」と次女は説得。次女は実家に泊まり込み、大変ながらも何とか父の介護に奮闘します。手作りのご飯をあげては父がムセてしまったり、父の便失禁に驚いたりと、次女は母の大変さを知るのでした。母の入院期間、父はショートステイを利用しながら過ごします。それでも父は入院することになるのでした。
次女は罪意識を感じてしまいます。自分がせっかく頑張ったにもかかわらず入院となってしまったため、母に対する申し訳なさと自分の無力さを感じます。家族だからといって、介護について直ぐに対応できるわけではありません。気持ちだけではどうにもならないことがあるのが介護であることを感じさせる場面でした。
そんな中、姉と妹の繋がりもまた新しい関係ができていきます。認知症の家族を抱えることは家族も一緒に育つことなのかもしれません。
まとめ
この映画は認知症の方と家族の有り方について、ひとつの物語の中でそれぞれの立場からの気持ちを感じることのできるストーリーとなっています。
フィクションでありながら、認知症の家族を抱えることについての現実を考えさせる場面がいくつも登場します。
介護経験のある方はもちろん、認知症とはどういうものなのかという方への掴みにもなるかもしれません。
若年の方は認知症や老いについて縁のないものとお考えになる方は少なくありません。それでもいつか人は物理的に老いますし、老いを感じます。それが自身でなく親や周囲の方からである場合もあります。
それは難しいことではなく、身近なことであるときっと感じていただけることでしょう。
「今後の生活環境が変わる事への不安」や「介護を使って生活をどうデザインをしていったら良いか」など介護は協力体制で成り立っております。 ちょっとでも解決できる、ストレス軽減できる記事を目指し、一つの相談場所のメディアを目指しております。
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